How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
