What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
