I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
