This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
