Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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