I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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