Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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