I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
