I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
