I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
