Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
