i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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