i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it glows. i had to have it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
