You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
