honey bunches of taint.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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