i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
