1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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