Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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