Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
