yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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