I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
