Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Four minutes until I can fart!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
