it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
