You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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