I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
