I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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