and you said cock pushups were impossible
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How external is "for external use only"?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
