Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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