Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
