when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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