I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
