I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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