my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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