ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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