how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
