Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
