a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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