i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
