Who wears a wallet chain?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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