I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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