Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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