I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
