He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
