It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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