Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
