i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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