I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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