I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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