apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
