2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
