You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
