two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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