I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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