i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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