why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
