If i come over, it means nothing
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
