I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
