apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
